For example, “I am the strongest, fastest boy in school.” This is a statement by your child that demonstrates his sense of self based on attributes that he considers important (strength and speed). Parents help their child form healthy or unhealthy self-identity concepts of self. Identities in four year olds are encouraged by the parents and environment. For example, you could say to your child, “You are really smart,” let ting him know what you think about him (self-identity also comes from how he thinks others perceive him). Or you could give a negative image to your child, e.g. giving him the idea that he does not say anything that matters to you. You either increase his intelligence or increase his so-called incompetence. The road you take will help form his self-identity.
Four years old is a critical time for helping your child develop positive self-awareness and a sense of self-esteem. Achieving these goes well beyond making books about themselves, labeling body parts, and stating reasons why he is special or what makes him different.
Self-awareness is a cognitive capacity that initiates a specific step in self-development. Your child’s capacity for self-awareness sets the stage for self-conscious social emotions such as embarrassment, pride, and shame that come from your child comparing himself to others.
Self-awareness starts before your child has strong language development, as seen when she is a toddler and points to her body parts as she looks in the mirror. Your child is evaluating herself against what is perceived by those around her when she shows embarrassment and other painful emotions in a social setting.
Even at this age, your child does not have a full grasp of self-awareness because this is a gradually developed skill and develops continuously. Until your child has a definite conception of self as an independent person, she cannot understand the relationship she has to the surrounding world and thus cannot fully develop self-awareness. As your child matures, however, she will learn more and more about who she is. This learning process continues well into adulthood.
