Because your child is used to exploring the world around him and learning by investigating and exploring, be prepared for him to be just as curious about behaviors such as sex and gender differences.
Children generally don’t become modest until about age six, but they will begin around age four to understand that there are certain things done in private, such as going to the bathroom and dressing or undressing. Just like they have curiosity about how trees grow, they begin to exhibit curiosity by asking questions about where babies come from, attempting to see other people naked or undressed, and asking about their private parts and their bodily functions.
Don’t ignore or jump to conclusions when your child asks you questions about sexuality.
You want him to feel comfortable asking you these questions. Approach the questions calmly. You do not want to embarrass your child or ignore him. Ask open-ended questions and guide your child regarding sexual behaviors you may see him engaging in.
Give your child basic information and answers to his questions.
Explain that boys and girls differ. Tell your child that girls’ and boys’ bodies are different and start to change more when they get older. Give simple explanations about where babies come from. Inform your child that some things are done in private.
Do not make your child feel ashamed about being curious, but it is very important to teach him about personal boundaries.
He may also pick up on “naughty” words that are not appropriate for him to use. Approach your child’s use of bad words calmly. Do not laugh or ignore your child using words that are inappropriate, whether they are curse words, sexual words, or potty words. Approach the conversation in a calm manner. The more you make a big deal about it, the more he’ll remember and use a word you wish he would not.
Diversity and Differences
Your child is interacting with other children and noticing more of their differences, from gender to race and different abilities. Just like they do when sorting colors and toys, children begin to make connections between people and their differences. It is important to talk to your child about similarities beyond race, such as hair color, the type of shoes people wear, or how many fingers people have, so that he is aware of cultural diversity in a broader context and understands that all people have similarities and differences beyond just culture and skin color.
Tips for helping your child be culturally aware include:
- Nurture a sense of pride in your child. Talk to your child about differences, that differences in people do exist, and that differences are not bad. Look at the positive in some of the differences your child notices in others.
If your child is discouraged about not being able to do something as well as another child, such as running or drawing, remind him of all the things he can do well. If he is embarrassed by his own culture, talk about those differences in a positive manner. For example, say, “Our holiday has these delicious foods, and we get to spend time with our family.”
- Teach your child positive words to associate with differences. Instead of describing a difference in another as “not normal” say that it is “not common.” Use different abilities instead of disabilities. Your child is naturally curious, so do not make him feel uncomfortable around someone new. When you notice your child staring, ask him what he is thinking. Talk to him about the person in the wheelchair or someone of a different race or someone wearing a garment he hasn’t seen before.
If there is someone in your family or a close friend who is from a different culture, let your child ask this person questions. Instead of avoiding the person, talk to your child about being polite. He shouldn’t point or stare at anyone. Giving your child these guidelines also helps him see that everyone is different, and we should treat everyone with respect.
- Teach your child the golden rule. The golden rule is most commonly known as “treat others as you want to be treated.” Talk to your child about how he would feel if he were left out of a group or were told he was not allowed to play because of the shoes he wore that day. Tell him it is okay to have friends you like to play with more than others and that sometimes it is okay to say no to someone who asks to play, but there is a nice way to say it.
Difficult Conversations
When talking to your child about some bad news (like divorce or death), or a big change (such as moving), pick a good time when he is not tired or moody. Ask him what he thinks and how he feels after hearing the news. Ask him again later after he has more time to process the news. Don’t be surprised if your young child asks you about it again many days later.
If you have more than one child, make sure you take some time to talk to each child individually. Children of different ages process information in different ways.
Start your conversations with yes and no questions to get the dialogue going. Be sure not to place blame on anyone or anything in the conversation.
Sometimes young children will change the subject to something that matters more to them at the time, such as asking what is for snack or a question about school. This is okay and is expected. Don’t force him to stay on topic because it can frustrate him. Wait for another opportunity to talk about it.
Inform your child’s teacher or babysitter that something is happening at home that is out of the ordinary (for example, a parent moving out, a parent traveling, or a death in the family) and ask the sitter or teacher to take some notes on your child’s behavior. Your child may act out for attention at school if you are concentrating on the situation at home and not on him. Children can sense when something is wrong and may be confused and keep to themselves or act out either reaction is normal. Be sure to engage your child during times of change so that he does not withdraw emotionally or socially.
Yoga
Having your child participate in yoga gives him the ability to exercise both his body and mind.
Yoga encompasses the whole child by both strengthening children’s bodies and calming their minds to shape better focus and build self-confidence. Through yoga, children are able to develop and foster more than just physical skills. Yoga helps your child build problem-solving skills when testing his balance. Children will try to move their bodies and muscles in different ways until they find the best way to achieve the positions.
Yoga also helps his imagination and creativity skills. You can turn yoga into a story with your child and build language skills by having him name and sequence positions that go along with a storyline. Most of all enjoy your time together.
1. Seesaw
Either siblings or you and your child can practice the seesaw together to stretch the lower back, arms, shoulders, and hamstrings. To do this pose sit across from each other with legs stretched in front of you in a V shape with a tall back. The smaller member of the pair puts his or her legs on the inside of the longer-legged person's legs. Holding hands, gently rock back and forth.
2. Puppy Friends
You and your child (or siblings) should stand facing each other; slowly place your hands on one another's shoulders. Then step back and bend forward at the hips, bringing the head down to rest between the arms. Inhale and exhale several times. Puppy friends will stretch the hamstrings.
3. Holding Hands
You and your child (or siblings) should stand with your backs to each other about a foot apart from one another. Bend over and touch your toes, reach through your legs, and grab each other’s hands. Hold hands together as you inhale and exhale several times
