Your child’s ability to learn problem-solving skills is a significant contributor to his social-emotional wellness or self-esteem. Problem-solving skills will empower your child to think about himself and others and what roles he plays. In order to problem solve, your child needs support from you in learning to apply the five-step process of problem solving in every difficult situation that occurs. Remember, the more you practice this process with your child the easier he will learn it until it happens naturally (between ages nine and ten.)
The five steps of effective problem solving:
1. Calm down.
2. Identify the problem.
3. Brainstorm an alternative.
4. Choose a solution.
5. Determine if the solution is successful.
First, your child needs support in calming down. This can be done by encouraging your child to walk away from the situation or listen to soft music. Sometimes children need time to calm down by themselves before they are ready to talk and use language to express their emotions.
Follow by helping to identify the problem. Parents can do this by asking questions such as, “How are you feeling right now?” “Do you know why you are so upset?” or “What happened to make you so upset?” Once you have been able to identify the problem together, you can brainstorm alternative ways to solve the problem.
Once your child identifies the problem, he then acts upon the solution and discovers if it was successful. If it is not successful, try one of the other solutions you brainstormed.
By working through this process with your child, you are modeling how he can do it himself. He will likely feel supported. Your attention is always appreciated and beneficial.
